A Gay Man's Pseudo Crisis

REVIEW: Current Tech Set-Up

2008-11-24T20:50:00.000-08:00

This may feel like a change from my previous posts, but my relationship with my technological counterparts is integral to my life. Those who have read any of the works of Charles Stross and/or Ray Kurzweil can understand my frustration with our lack of proper communication and information access methods.

Until we find a way to augment ourselves with better connection protocols, we are forced to use our mobile devices. My current set-up is as follows:

1. Blackberry "Pearl" 8120 (T-Mobile)

In short, I love this device and I'm virtually useless without it. It's utilitarian interface and unparalleled messaging capabilities have made me a Blackberry user for life. One caveat: this device uses a consolidated typing interface known as "SureType", which can make the first couple of days with the device a bit painful.

2. Motorola S9 Stereo Bluetooth Headset

As a classical musician, I spend a lot of time practicing my excerpts with professional orchestral recordings (via headphones), and wired headsets have always caused me great trouble. This headset pairs with my BlackBerry flawlessly and with wonderful audio quality. They can just be tossed in my bag and used whenever I'm ready. Great battery life, audio quality, fit, and durability... what more could I need?

My apologies if this read like a product plug, but I am very happy to have finally found a personal tech set-up that fits into my life so flawlessly. As someone who has owned over 20 phones in the past 8 years, this is a first for me!

/back to existentialist, solipsist, singularist reality

Critical Juncture

2008-10-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

I have a decision to make. Thinking in absolutes, am I willing to 'lower' myself into the depths of human travail and sufferring? Or would I rather stick with the 5ingularity and continue to devalue the organic? If I wasn't an artist, I would obviously side with the latter. However, I don't necessarily believe that my artisan status means that I must fully embrace the organic. (When I say organic, I refer to the endemic issues of humanity brought on by the machinery on which our software is running...'wet ware', if you will).

The travail caused by illogical thought and action, which are fueled by the unpredictability of hormonal interaction is (inexplicably) valued in our society.

Ill finish later.

Who knew?!

2008-10-21T04:14:00.000-07:00

So, I'm walking down the bus stop (about 2 miles) and a bus slows down, pulls up beside me, and proceeds to inform me that the VCU Campus Connector service goes directly from the Cathedral/Dining Hall to my bus stop! Its this kind of thing that makes me want to give this whole 'people are inherently "good" thing' another try.

Doubtful.

Selective Xenophobia

2008-03-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

One of the perks of working at Starbucks is that I have come into contact with people that I would otherwise have never met. For the past few years, I have been surrounded by artists, who are a very liberal group on the whole. I enjoyed this life, but I completely forgot that not everyone is as ambivalent about homosexuality as I and my friends are. An example for your approval:

Apparently, when I was first hired at Starbucks, the majority of my co-workers assumed that I was heterosexual. This mistake was not the source of my contention, but when they did "discover" my homosexuality, they seemed value my "masculinity"...like this trait made me inherently superior to my more effeminate peers.

My difficulty with this concept is that we are still attempting to quantify and measure traits that have far too much gradation for such generalizations. Which brings me to my question:

Is it acceptable for liberals to pick and choose their liberal causes or should we objectively measure our "morals" and try to be accepting of all people?

Personally, I find it ludicrous that there are black people who dislike other black people based on the shade of their skin (there are equivalent examples in the latino and asian cultures as well). By the same token, how can we as homosexuals judge people by their masculinity? I have quite a few friends who say that they don't understand or believe in drag-queens, cross -dressing, and transgendered people. How can we as minorities commit the same crime that we accuse homophobes of? Perhaps the justification can be found in the "ethics" and "morals" of the previous generation. Through social, governmental and familial efficacy, they boxed themselves in to prevent questions later in life (see my November post on this issue).

Is our generation ready to shed the vestiges of our parents or should be simply accept the status quo?

Preso por um fio....

2007-11-18T13:45:00.000-08:00

Translation:
Hanging by a thread

Reading this conservative tripe is harder than I imagined it would be...

Do que que é feito um coração selvagem?

2007-11-18T12:51:00.000-08:00

Translation:
What's a wild heart made of?

No matter how noble the intents of a young, intellectual homosexual attempting to find reason in his life, he still must deal with the constructs of the world around him. Since this blog is devoted to the homosexual aspect of its creator, the principal concern must be the treatment of homosexuality in the world around him.

Through my cursory research of the topic, the basis of all disagreement on the social viability of homosexuality comes down to a single acorn of contention: definition of the term "homosexuality".

For me and my fellow liberals, this question is a very simple one. Homosexuality is considered to be an orientation; as something mentally and physically intrinsic to one's pysche. Conservatives and other predominately anti-homosexual groups consider homosexuality to be a definition of behavior, much like drug addiction or theft. By following their logic, homosexuals can be "cured" in very much the same way that career thieves and drug addicts can be "cured" of their "addictions".

Obviously, no consensus can be reached as long as this semantic disagreement stays at the foundation of all further discussion.

While I intend to carefully examine all sides of each argument for and against homosexuality in detail in the following entries, I feel the need to address the likening of the homosexual lifestyle to obviously negative lifestyle choices. For a moment, let's consider the positives of drug use for John Doe in the 21st century. The only real reason for using drugs is because it feels good (drug use as an escape from the inherent difficulties of the human experience and as a catalyst for developing/enhancing relationships both fall under this umbrella). Thus, would the only reason for "choosing" the homosexual "lifestyle" be because homosexual activity feels better than heterosexual sex? I feel that conservatives should be very careful when using this comparison for obvious reasons.

a small note to my quotation key: I promise to send you a letter of warning if I ever intend to use you as frequently as I did in the previous essay. My apologies.

Bien que dans le corps l'âme embrase, dans l'obscurité la distance devient infinie.

2007-11-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

Translation:

Although in the body the soul blazes,
in the darkness the distance becomes infinite.

Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we? Let's strip all of the idealogical varnish from the matter at hand.
What do all homosexuals have in common with each other? We all are sexually attracted to members of the same sex। For the remainder of this journal, I will refer to the masculine, because that is what interests me as a gay man. So, in my mind, this in the only universal that all homosexuals have in common. If the world adhered to the last statement, then there would be no need for further introspection on my part, as I could simply fall into line with who I am without the constraints of who I am supposed to be (at least in the homosexual category).

The hitch is, everyone wants to feel included. Humans thrive on creating groups because it differentiates us from the other 6,631,940,624 people on this planet, and therefore feeds our ego. This issue is EVERYWHERE, as most natural born leaders play on it automatically. For example, what is the principal technique of forming allegiance throughout world history? Fear? Neh. Ruling by fear will work for a while (sometimes quite a while), but eventually the people yearn for "freedom". How about religion? A great tool for controlling people, but it falls under a larger pretext (and is often combined with another card, the nationality/race card).

Basically, by showing the population their similarities, you make them trust themselves as a people. Then, all you have to do is show them that you have their best interests in mind, and that you are the best candidate to "lead" them towards the ultimate goal of VICTORY!

VICTORY may come is vastly different forms (i.e. mass conversion for religions, a World Cup win here, a World Series win there, etc) but that is the human goal.

Following the above logic, how could the current plight of the homosexual have been avoided?

The current stereotypical homosexual is in his current situation through no fault of his own. It makes perfect sense that any minority group would congregate for both physical and mental health reasons. However, we must be careful to listen to our "gut reactions" to the variants found in gay culture...homosexuality does not assume any political or religious leanings (outside of those religio-political concepts that attempt to make the lives of the average homosexual less happy).

Intro

2007-11-17T12:03:00.000-08:00

Hello Blogger, my name is Anthony Smith, but that is the least important thing about me at this point. You have been created to serve as a repository for my ideas of what being an out homosexual man in the 21st century. Eventually, I would like for you to serve as a hub for others interested in this topic to contemplate ideas. I have also just made the decision to speak to the readers of my blog instead of to you, because speaking to you is a little frightening.

So there you go. I am simply a 22 year old homosexual man who is unhappy with the homosexual section of his life for various reasons, and I would like to try to find a happier future by examining the various paths that I and my fellow homosexuals are on and trying to predict where they will lead.

The goal of this blog is to find the path that I want. I would like my eventual destination to include:

-a "husband"
-at least 1 child
-at least 1 dog
-musical directorship of a new music opera company of my creation, under my direction

One last thing. I realize that the my participation in the "blogosphere" implies a certain narcissism, and I don't mind the implication in the least. A word of caution: I am merely a 22 year old music student on the East Coast. I have no aspirations in the field of psychiatry or psychology, and this blog is just a sounding board to help me organize my thoughts on my journey.

Until next time,

Anthony